Do you still have your period?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
