i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize