i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
