We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
