I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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