She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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