I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
