know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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