so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
