just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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