Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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