wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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