Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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