Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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