I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
All the doctor said was why
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
