Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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