I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
