So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
