Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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