My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
