that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
