oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
