She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
