and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize