we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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