Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
