Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
