yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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