nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize