Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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