My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
