does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
