I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
