My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
