Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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