I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
