Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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