Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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