Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize