At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
