Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
