maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
