so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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