Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
