No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
