Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
