a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
