If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You can't motorboat a personality
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
