Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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