I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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