i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
