hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
