Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
