Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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