Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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