hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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