Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
