So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
