If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
