If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Randomize
