Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
