She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
