Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
