I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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