is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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