I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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