am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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