for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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